The anger wells up inside of me. I used to find peace in crafting and cooking and solice in books. I am no longer able to find that peace. I know why people  take the easy way out.

An elderly hateful old woman has ruled almost every moment of my life for the past 3 1/2 years. When it hasn't been her, my husband has filled in the gaps with his self importance. When you no longer matter more than a housekeeper then you no longer matter. Now SHE is travelling and says she will die while away. Spiteful old mean woman.

Yes this is a self pity party. Yes I am being a drama queen. Yes I need to shut my pie hole. But I know I can vent here and no one I know will ever read this. Maybe it will be the beginning of a great novel. Being able to vent as a vehicle to a new career.

One day I will gather back to myself and find joy in the arts I once relied on for comfort and centering.

So tomorrow is going to be a great day. I have volunteered to help with the local library book sale for charity. The best part is that I get to see the books and have first option at the books for sale. I am so excited.

I need a vacation.

So, how do you balance life when one person is sooooo needy and helpless. I don't know why she is so difficult to deal with, but I have talked to others in my situation and they have very similar experiences. As primary care givers we are belittled, emotionally abused, treated with no appreciation or respect and are given literally no help from the rest of the children, yet we are the bad guys while our siblings are thought of as perfection. I am so completely exhausted and have NO tolerance anymore with her self pity. She always has to be the center of attention and will make up stuff to bring the attention back to her. OMG!